Suicide Memorial Tree

I believe that something positive has to emerge from every tragedy. One of the positives that has occurred since my son's death is meeting Brenda Reeves from Sioux Falls, South Dakota, someone whom I am proud and honoured to call my friend. Brenda was the legal guardian of her nephew Jay, who sadly lost his life to suicide on 4 March 2002. Jay was 23 years old. You can visit Jay's beautiful memorial site here

Brenda now works tirelessly to help other survivors of suicide and to raise awareness of suicide and other issues that contribute to someone taking their own life. She runs several wonderful support group bereaved families, including Parents of Suicides and a Youth Group for 10-17 year olds who have lost a family member to suicide. Brenda has created two memory trees of lights in her back garden to honour and remember those who have lost their lives to suicide. To give people a chance to say goodbye, Brenda has has opened up her home so that anyone touched by suicide can add pictures, notes and mementos to the trees.

Brenda says, "It gives them a place to reflect, a place that they can go to and know that's what we're here for. It's to give them a place to get together."

The Memory Tree of Lights' Project was launched by Brenda Flowers (above left), who lost her daughter Kimberly (above right) to suicide on 3 November 1992. The "Memory Tree of Lights" is a ministry which focuses on the Christmas holiday season and provides comfort, education, intervention and hope to people whose lives have been impacted by the loss of someone to suicide and who are overwhelmed by this loss during the Christmas season.

Brenda says, "All survivors are invited to memorialise their loved one(s) on the Memory Tree of Lights no matter what denomination they are (or none at all), and no matter what life style they live.

.Online Support Groups Co-ordinated by Brenda Reeves, or which Brenda Helps to Moderate

Please note: The warning that I issued on another page about a group moderator is not about Brenda. Brenda is a warm, loving and sincere person who devotes her life to unconditionally supporting bereaved families, suicide attempters and raising awareness of depression, self-harm and suicide.

Friends & Families of Suicides SD We are a support group for friends and family members of suicide victims. Together we will walk the journey to healing after the loss of our loved one's. Sharing our experiences and feelings in an attempt to help each other and offering hope.

Parents of Suicides SD We are a support group exclusive to parents who have lost a child to suicide. Together, sharing our experiences, we will walk the journey to healing together while offering hope.

Surviving Siblings of Suicides SD We are a support group exclusively for siblings suffering a loss after suicide. Together we will walk the journey of healing, sharing our experiences and offering hope.

YOUTH-FFOS-of-SD We are a support group exclusively for youth who are suffering from a suicide loss of a friend or family member. The membership is made up of 10-17 year olds. The unique connection of youths to suicide victims will be acknowledged and explored.

HOPE for Suicide Attempters This group is for those who have attempted suicide and for self-injurers. We are offering hope and friendship as a tool to prevent future attempts.

SAOCS (Surviving After Only Child Suicide) Our group is for parents who are suffering the suicide loss of an only child or all of their children. We recognise that a parent is the person who loved, cared for and supported their child or children. There are different names for parents. Therefore, parents may be natural (biological), adoptive, step-parents or legal guardians of the child lost to suicide. Together, sharing our experiences, we will walk the journey to healing, while offering hope and friendship.

Our Message Board for those that aren't into email groups:

South Dakota FFOS and POS Information and Experience Sharing Board

This is a public board and anyone who visits may post here. The purpose of this board is to provide an informative and safe place for the discussion of and sharing personal experiences with each other on issues related to suicide.

Information on Tree Lightings

Brenda leaves the trees up all year and they are lit from Dec. 01 through Jan. 01 with a lighting ceremony that coordinates with the rest of the organisations' ceremonies. They are lit the week of Natioanl Suicide Prevention Week (which is the first full week in May); and Memorial Day Weekend.

Different Trees For Different Groups

Brenda uses uses her shorter tree, about 30 ft. tall, for the South Dakota memorials and the taller tree, about 45 ft. tall, for the out-of-the area tree. This tree has names and pics of suicide victims from around the globe. Some are from other US states and some are from as far away as China and Australia.