by his mum, Kristi Kure
March 29, 1989 - December 12, 2007
He was born on March 29, 1989. A beautiful 10 lb baby by C-section. They named him David, simply because they liked the name. He was a good baby, learned quickly whether it was eating, walking, potty training or talking. He was close to his mom and loved her very much as a child and they grew to be great friends as well as mother and son. He loved his brother although they fought like cats and dogs in the early years, later to become best friends as young men. He adored his dad and loved spending time with him and working with him, learning from him. He went off to school and had developed such a personality of his own, one like no other. The smile, the looks, the sense of humor-all unlike any other. It frustrated many teachers and amused a few. When he got to junior high he remained kind and caring to his family, sometimes moody like most teenagers. But, less so than others. He cared less and less about school, as far as grades and expectations, but read a great deal, drew and was a very creative writer. He also loved music, very good music, not much of the new stuff, mostly the old and good stuff, a lot of what his parents listened to. He had great taste and a style all his own. So very unique an individual. He was also a very talented skateboarder. Many of the younger kids would follow him around just in hopes of gaining a few tips from him that might better their ability. He was a hard worker, working outdoors at the family cabin or at his grandparents’ homestead. He had a good work ethic from a very early age. It was a happy time in the spring of 2007 when his brother graduated from Culinary School and he graduated from High School. How proud they were and how bright the future looked for all of them. He worked construction during that summer and redid the entire exterior of his parents’ house, doing a beautiful job. He wanted to forgo going directly to school as he said he needed a break and would work. He got a job for the Christmas season, but was not getting many hours. He was depressed, as he was in ‘limbo’, not knowing what he wanted to do. So, decided to look into taking a few classes at the local community college. He was then offered a chance as an apprentice for the Carpenter’s union with good pay in the upcoming spring. He could work construction as he loved to build things and write the great American novel on the side. He had a girlfriend who loved him very much and it would seem he loved too. His life was in limbo, like most 18 year olds but with prospects, with possibilities.
So, now what? What happened?
On a rather cold December morning he awoke and did not check to see if he had to report for work (or did he?). He plugged in his dad’s cell phone to be charged, talked to his mom as she called him during her break at work to see what he was going to be doing with his day. He said he’d be checking on work and submitting another application for a job to go onto once this job was completed after the holidays. She said she would talk to him later. What he did after that, not really sure, walked around the house with obvious dark thoughts and ideas. Had he been drinking? What caused him to think those thoughts that morning? When his mom got home for lunch he had left and she assumed he was at work. She went back to work feeling secure in the thought that he was busy. He had not gone to work, nor did he come home that night. It was discovered that no one had spoken to him and no one had seen him. He did not report for work the next day either. His shotgun was no longer in his room in the case where it normally would be kept. A panic began, the police were called, his mom called his dad at work and told him what her fears were. He came home and decided that he realized where he might be. He and his friends had a place in a small wooded area not far from their house where they could go hang out, have fun. His mom pleaded with the police to go with her husband to see if he was there, hopefully just sitting there by a fire, thinking dark thoughts. Had he been, there would have been time to help and get on with life. However, it was there that his father - alone found the lifeless body of his beautiful 18 year old son, frozen in the snow. He had shot himself. His father was inconsolable. His mother stood near the edge of the woods talking to his father on the cell phone begging him to come out as she would not go and see her son in that way. The police, with their infinite talents and wisdom could not find him and his son. His father had to come out and show them where to go. Now What? Numbness, disbelief, anger, pain; a pain so unbearable. A pain so piercing that the body begins to vomit, convulse and fall apart. Ok, now the nightmare begins, truly begins with no end in sight. They decided they wanted no formal memorial or service for their son as they were a very private family. They did have a private viewing, just the two of them and their only other son. The funeral home had put him in a hospital gown and had a turban type bandage wrapped around his head down to the lower lids of his eyes. He was cold, so very cold. The family who had and still loved him so very much sat with his body for several hours, crying, praying, and yes yelling at him and asking him “Why?”.......no answers would ever come. They then had his beautiful body cremated and took his ashes home in a plastic bag with a twist tie inside a cardboard box. His beautiful dark curly hair, his beautiful brown eyes, his beautiful face, his smile that could melt your heart and all of the dark feelings that must have gone along with him. All in a cardboard box. They will decide later what to do with it. It is too much to bear. His mom went to the place where he took his life from them all and set up a makeshift altar with pictures, candles, crosses, flowers, wreaths and such. She needed a place to go ‘talk’ to him. This was where her son had his last thoughts. What were those thoughts? How dark were they? Why were they so dark? An illness of some sort brought on by something. Why was her love not enough to prevent him from taking such a desperate measure? Despite the pain and anger, his mother still had a deep faith in God and his plans in their lives. She, did not however understand any of it and feared she would never get through this. She felt lost and angry at him for being so selfish. When he put that shotgun to his head, he shot her as well. Her life, as she knew it was now over, he took it from her and it was not his to take. He also shot his father and his brother and anyone who loved him. Again, not his to take. So, this is the place where she gets on her knees and prays, cries and screams at him. His mother uses her anger to try and help get through the day so that she can help her husband, who is suffering so and cannot get the vision of his son lying in the snow out of his head. Will it ever fade? His father is physically impaired because of it and has difficulty doing the most routine of tasks. A month has not yet passed since the day he took his life, yet they are expected to go back to work, to go on with life. But how? What now? His mother is on short term disability having been diagnosed with post traumatic stress syndrome. His father is being seen by a doctor and medicated. He will go back to the doctor again as the medication given is not working. His pain has been taken away from him, by his own hands. His family’s pain is just beginning and will never end, pain given by his hands as well. They did not deserve this kind of pain which has caused such madness, they will never recover. They begin to have thoughts of joining their son. Did he have the right idea? Is it better to just give up, lay down and die? Who has the energy, strength or ability to ever get through this and continue to live? Why even bother, nothing matters. Now What?
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Update: March 2017:
For my son David William Kure 03/29/1989 - 12/12/2007, found 12/13/2007.
... On Saturday May 7, 2011 you and Dan saved my daughters' lives. And as I learn about your precious son David, I realize that my girls were only tools in the events that happened that day. It never was about them....and humbly I could never have realized this until now. Slowly the pieces are fitting together in the puzzle the way they should fit and I have never before been in such awe of the power of God.
My girls, by all accounts, should not be here on earth after getting lost deep in the woods and attempting to swim across the bay to reach your cabin only 1 week after the ice had left the lake.
They were numb. They said it was past the point of feeling 'anything'. I truly believe Kristi that they were minutes from death. But...like I said, I know now that they were only tools used to become intertwined in your lives. Before Dan reached them in the canoe, I feel so strongly it was David that kept them above water. Then after David's angel work was done, you and Dan took the torch from David and completed the task of saving them.
Kristi, you and Dan saved TWO precious lives on that day. In your anguish, I pray that these events will be in your souls to know that your journey is far from over.
You saved two lives. Not many people can say that.
May God speed,
This was received from a mother who's family has a cabin near us and shared some time ago. I needed to share.
Thank You, Kristi A. Kure